The Strength Of A Marriage Is Tested In The Midst Of Life’s Worst Storms

Sometimes the strength of a marriage is tested in the midst of life’s worst storms. The initial prognosis from the wound specialist was very grim and scary. “I’m touching bone in this cavity and these two sores that are six inches apart are definitely communicating (connected by a tunnel under the skin)”, the doctor said. She continued, “If this is infected, we may have to open all of this up and debride in order to get the infection out and allow it to heal. We’ll know a lot more after we get the results of the MRI and tissue cultures”.

LeeAnn turned ghostly pale and excused herself to the lobby where her parents were waiting. I’m actually amazed that she made it that far before losing it.

Meanwhile, I was fighting thoughts that this just might be the end. That may sound overly dramatic or silly to some of you, but I know the reality of the situation. Infected skin ulcers are one of the most fatal secondary conditions for people living with spinal cord injuries (see Christopher Reeve). I immediately went to thoughts of ‘plan for the worst, hope for the best’.

The next few days were consumed by waiting and prayers while the team of doctors debated over the course of treatment that would give me the best chance for a full recovery. During that time there were a lot more questions being raised than there were answers.

In those hours and days of waiting I was awestruck by two things: 1) God answering prayers, and 2) the foundational strength of our marriage.

The answers to prayers began to come on the third day in the hospital when the doctors determined that surgery would not be necessary. They were able to confirm that the infection was exiting the body on its own. The tissue cultures were also giving good preliminary results, so they had a pretty good idea of what bacteria we were up against.

Since surgery was not necessary and I appeared to be responding well to the antibiotics, the doctors agreed to sending me home. This was another answer to prayer as originally, they were adamant that I would need to go into a nursing facility for several weeks to recover.

Getting to go home is great segue to the strength of the relationship I have with LeeAnn. There was never a doubt in my mind that she wanted me home. She was visibly disturbed by the notion of sending me anywhere but home.

Being united in the battle to go home might not have been the case if we weren’t already on the same page with other important matters. We are equally yoked in our faith, spending time every morning in God’s word and praying together on most days. We stand in agreement with our finances, giving every dollar an assignment on paper every month. And, we work together to ensure that we are in agreement before committing to parenting decisions that may impact the household.

This foundation gives us a lot of practice rowing the boat in the same direction. By doing these things every day it makes it seem like second nature to work together through stressful situations, like a hospital stay and time out of work.

I would even argue that being unified gave God an opportunity to use the situation to strengthen our relationship. God has been able to use this to slow us down and refocus on what’s really important. He helped expose some areas in our lives where we had been taking each other for granted. We know that we have some work to do, but in time, I am sure that we will be stronger for enduring this trial.

In closing, I challenge you to take a look at your relationships. Are you more focused on serving or being served? It’s not a hard question, but it might just change your life. A focus on serving others is the start to building a solid foundation in any relationship. Selflessly working together in mundane daily life makes it a lot easier to be unified when the rain comes.