When you enter a life situation that rips away your independence, you learn real fast that you need a strong support network. Whether it’s family, friends, or acquaintances, you need them all. Your life may literally depend on the care provided by the people around you, so you need to recognize that those people are there to help you and you need them way more than they need you.
This was a concept that I struggled with at first, partly because I didn’t want to relinquish my independence, and partly because I lacked humility. I am sure that I still have moments when I fail to show gratitude for the things people do for me, but I do realize that I am very blessed to have such a wonderful support network.
If it wasn’t for my parents who encouraged me to follow my dreams, or my grandparents who were willing to drive me around before I could drive or while my van was in the shop, or my wife who supports my various ventures and crazy hours, or my siblings who were willing to alter their lifestyles to provide personal care during difficult times, or aunts and uncles laboring to make a house wheelchair accessible and bringing cookies and other treats to the hospital staff… the list could go on for days… but if not for the people in my life, then I would most likely have been sent to a nursing home or assisted living.
Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of great people working in those facilities, so there is no shame with being in either of those places, they just don’t measure up to “home” for me. Even though my experience with in-home healthcare has had its ups and downs, I’ve had some of the best help and gotten to know some really amazing people and I’m sure I’ll meet and get to know even more over time.
The point is that it takes a network of people to truly be independent and accomplish the things you want to do. This is true in your career and it applies even more to life outside of the office. Perhaps you can relate to the office “workhorse”, the guy who always gets things done and done right. He builds a reputation and gets handed more responsibility, but times are tough, so he doesn’t get more resources and has to “do more with less”. He might be able to carry the load for awhile, but eventually he becomes resentful and gets to the point where he hates going to work.
Now, take the previous example and apply it to your life. If you’re placing all of life’s work on just a few people and giving them fewer resources and less gratitude, those people will begin to resent you. Depending on your situation, this might already be the case. These are the most important people in your life and they are irreplaceable, so take a few minutes today to think about your life network:
- Who are the people in your life who would support you if something tragic happened today? Would it be up to family, friends, or people that you hire? Make sure that you have a balanced plan so that your future co-dependence doesn’t come at the cost of the independence of the people you love the most.
- Do you have a plan for the resources that they would need? Incorporate various sources in your life that will continue to provide spiritual, financial, emotional, and physical support for your loved ones if (and when) your ability is compromised.
- Are you being gracious? We all take people for granted. Make it a priority to stop what you’re doing once in awhile and say “thank you”. It doesn’t completely cover gratitude, but it’s a step in the right direction.
I hope this post encourages you to think about some of the intangible elements of planning for your future. If you haven’t already, please join our mailing list and use the links below to share this message with someone who could benefit. You can also send us questions or comments using the Contact Us form.